i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm bleeding and have questions
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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