Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
