And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
