nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
