I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
