no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
