Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
