One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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