Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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