Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just cropdusted the office
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
