just tell him i said nine months
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
