Dual....:-)
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
