Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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