I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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