I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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