I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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