And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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