is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
