Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
