Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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