You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
