but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
