Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
