i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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