I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
