why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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