Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you guys were way drunker than both of me
are you so shy because you have an std?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
