what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
