Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
