I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
