It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
i need some magic done to my vagina
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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