So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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