Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
