I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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