Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
