She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
