I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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