ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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