he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
