Im at strip club and am horny
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
