That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
