My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I understand Curling. That high.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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