I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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