Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
