he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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