omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Let's paint friendship bongs
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
