She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
