You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
