So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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