Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You need Xanax blowdarts
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
