I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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